You’ll forgive my rancor, but I got problems. I got problems with the way American English is being abused, brutalized and otherwise mistreated. I don’t say the “English language” because American English is a whole different animal than proper English. I’m talking about the Americanized bastardization which many people think is their birthright and the … Continue reading Words, Exclamation Points and Laughing Out Loud
Author: BuddhaManAndy
I have devoted myself, because of my traumatic brain injury more than a decade ago and getting sober 7 years ago, to maximizing my new brain, like a Solitaire deck but with all the Aces and most of the face cards missing, by any means available.
Light the Match
I recently entered into a time-honored tradition in the brief history of the Internet: Online dating. This is a subject that is positively rife with material to spoof on. From Adult Friend Finder to EHarmony to Match to Plenty of Fish, this is a bottomless well for a jaded yet hopeful, sardonic yet sincere, hardened … Continue reading Light the Match
Eat Your Heart Out, Robert Frost
Full disclosure: I’ve read admittedly very little Robert Frost. Me and my friend Greg, who really sort of made me want to write, among other influences, and who I now coincidentally share a bathroom with, use to have to read Frost for our AP English class senior year in high school. And we … Continue reading Eat Your Heart Out, Robert Frost
For Jack Sigler, 1934-2014
Dear Jack, I got 2 years sober June 23. Next month. I wish you could have been here for that. It’s probably not very important to you, but it would have meant a lot to me. But then again, we do share the Sigler gene of loving history. It would have been nice to … Continue reading For Jack Sigler, 1934-2014
Him (Scene of the Crime), Pt. 2
He raised one eyebrow. “What?” “I said the sun is shining.” I looked over at the plate-glass window, then returned to Him. “I’m going for a walk when I get home. Afterwards, I’m going to write this blog post.” “Y’lost me,” He said. “Let me explain so you’re jacked little booze-riddled noodle can wrap its … Continue reading Him (Scene of the Crime), Pt. 2
Him (Scene of the Crime), Pt. 1
I knew He would show, I just didn’t know where or when. I sat in the waiting room of the same clinic that I had taken the positive drug test 4 years before. I flipped through the Sports Illustrated, feeling that semi-annual twinge of regret that I just don’t get as much into the nuts-and-bolts … Continue reading Him (Scene of the Crime), Pt. 1
Million Dollar Idea 3, Pt.3
If your sensibilities are a bit too delicate to stomach the idea of sending a mild electric current through your child’s body in order to save the price of another ticket to your destination, I have another idea that should suffice, and this is a lot of fun. That’s right. Imagine your little one gets … Continue reading Million Dollar Idea 3, Pt.3
Million Dollar Idea 3, Pt. 2
There’s really only 3 or 4 parents at any one time who are braving the waters of traveling with a toddler. But there is enough smoking, flaming Elmo-sized juggernauts to warrant some kind of deterrent to dissuade them from even trying to cross the Point of No Return (PONR) at the TSA checkpoint. So, to … Continue reading Million Dollar Idea 3, Pt. 2
Million Dollar Idea 3, Part 1
As a single man, there’s a lot about kids I have to come to understand over the years that a lot of parents probably realize pretty quickly. Take, for example, a child’s ability to walk. I was walking through the north terminal the other day and saw this kid, maybe 3, just doing a Flash … Continue reading Million Dollar Idea 3, Part 1
Disbelieve
I don't believe in deathMany don't believe in GodNor do IAnd I do not disbelieveWhat happens when we die?Please ...Explain love.See?Heaven, Hell, LimboThe colors in our spectrumWhich always change Words in a foreign languageFor which we have none in oursAnd that's enoughBecause it has to beWhere is HereWhen is nowOur true selves cryAnd laughWe weep and … Continue reading Disbelieve
My Zen Brain 