Poking my Head Out

Hey there. I have no real reason for a blog post today, except to tell you there’s some pretty big doings on planet MZB (Duh. My Zen Brain, silly.)

First, I thought I should probably say thank you again for the money from the GoFundMe campaign. I’m about 2 weeks away from a launch. A real good Facebook Friend (the “I know I am going to meet him in person before the end of the decade” kind of FB friend) cut me some great, old-timey kind of bluegrass that’s going to be the intro to Episode 1.

Second, another FB friend (same kind of Facebook Friend as the first guy) is designing me a logo because I have to have an image to go with the podcast for the podcatchers. I have a backup plan for that too. Essentially, the point of this podcast since the beginning has been to prove to myself that I can in fact set up a fully functioning thing as long as its on my schedule. But then a friend suggested a couple weeks ago that the people who contributed are going to want to see a return, anything, on their investment. So yeah, that’s where that is. So the artwork for the podcast is ready to go since I have a photo in the meantime if I decide to launch before I get her contribution.

I have made the recording of me giving my speech. That’s a tricky one since I have only spoken to be heard by an audience like two or three times in the short-term past and before that, it was decades. So I think I sound like I know what I am talking about. Which is good since the speech is about my life and I don’t have a whole lot else I can consider myself an expert on.

I am saving monetization for at least a year from now since I have no idea how popular the podcast will be. That is, how it will be received. I know how I want to see it play out but I’ve largely abandoned projecting how I think its gonna go. At this point, I just know its going to go.

And I wanted to tell you about it since, and I do forget this regularly and quickly, hence my sporadic posting history, but there does seem to be a smattering of people who really want to see the kid do good and would frankly be kind of miffed if I just took the money and ran.

Oh yeah, I forgot I should mention that my last blog post, the one about compassion. I meant all the stuff I said in that one about that jerko on Twitter who said anybody who doesn’t come out of the pandemic with a new skill or skills or better habits is blah blah blah? Yeah, that guy is still a jerko, but it turns out he was kind of right. I have this tendency to get really hurt or really offended or feel attacked or whatever as soon as I detect even a hint of aggression and untoward and uninvited motivational rubbish directed at me.

But, it turns out that I picked up some good habits, like I training-wheels quit smoking. I am about the pull myself off of the Chantix, which is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. But other than a couple slips its been 3 months smoke free. The dirty trick no one who has quit smoking tells you is that there’s no real immediate tangible, sustained short-term physical benefit. Like I still can’t run particularly fast or feel less afterwards but running three miles doesn’t enduce the sensation that my heart is about to explode, so I guess there’s that. And I have a bit more energy I guess but the main thing is I feel worlds better about myself for taking the big first step. Now its time for the second step, which will last the rest of my life same as booze.

To wit, once I have quit, there is no going back. Ever. You hear people in The Rooms say all that time “I don’t think I have another recovery left in me. This one has got to stick.” That’s exactly how I feel about it.

I do a lot more yoga than I did before COVID started too. So yeah, a year by myself has turned out to be pretty all-around good for me.

But the guy on Twitter is still a jerko.